When We Can't Hear The Words.

We can only interpret what we believe to be the scenario of the picture painted on the screen. We can't hear the words so we tend to write our own lyrics to make the story fit our own comfortable thoughts. We may be right, or maybe not. Who knows? As long as we are satisfied with the stories we depict, then that is all that matters, isn't it? I mean, who really ever knows the true meaning of silent images? Isn't the purpose to let everyone be creative? If they did not want us to employ our own thoughts then why don't they have subtitles? The beauty of painted moving images is the fact that we get to create our own fantasies. Is it always necessary to hear the words? Or, is it best to make up your own lyrics?

She and he...Beautiful Painting.

They are like an abstract painting. They know what it is suppose to be but people looking at them from the outside see only what they want. Although they only see what they want the interpretation is beautiful. They are not trying to please the canvas, they don't care what the paintbrush thinks. The art is merely based on what they feel. And even they can't describe it in words, it is onlybeautiful as an abstract painting, anything else will ruin it.

Whats wrong with Dreaming?

I have heard that dreams were the luxury of children and dreaming is a waste of time. I'm no longer a child but I dream 24/7 I have to wake myself when I'm awake. [Not in a literal sense but I have to wake up from my daydreams to focus on the life I'm living at the moment]. I believe dreams can be a reflection of reality in the present and future. We dream about the future because we want it or want to change our present. We dream about the present because we live it. Dreams are like foreshadows to your future and reminders of your past. There is no greater fascination in the world than trying to make my dreams come true. I constantly dream about my life ten, twenty, thirty years from now. I always seem to be happy, but who would dream of themselves depressed? Maybe, our dreams is a way for us to ignore our present circumstances. Maybe, we do not want to face ourselves in this normative state because we will be displeased with the path we have chose. Whats the point of dreaming if we already have a perfect life and everything we want is there for us? I don't know all the answers but I do have a multitude of dreams that I can only use to shape my future. I do have one answer, in ten years when someone ask me how did I manage to make it I'm gonna smile and say: "I dreamed it."

Are Humans That Jaded?

I seen something tonite that Made me sit back and seriously think about if I really want the future I think I want. Is success really the final step to gaining happiness? It seems that way when your reaching for it. Knowing That it is obtainable I'm not sure it is what I want if it is going to blind me. I watched these children who were in the house with at least one of their parents while the nanny prepared them for dinner and eventually bed. I know the parents believe they are preparing their kids for a great future. But they are inflicting wounds or their children that may never hill. I am beginning to believe people spend their money on foolish things because they are confused. Their is no reason a married successful couple that most likely is free on the weekends should have a nanny raising their children. I hate to say it but in a way success will leave you Jaded.

I'm no Daddy's Little Girl!

Can't say my favorite topic is a father but they are necessary for procreation. It seems that black men dating back about 30 yrs ago up until now has lacked in the department of taking care of their kids. I must say as a black woman who wants to marry a black man this is sickening. Even my father has lacked in his responsibility of supposedly raising four kids. Its bad enough that we all have different mothers but it is even worse that our father is a partial deadbeat. I think it is very unfortunate that men can choose whether they want to be in their child's life or not. They only f**k up the child's life and leave them with irreversible damage. I will prefer a man that is never there than one that bounces in and out. I'm not trying to put the black man down because I love my black men. I just want all black men to take care of the children they bring into the world because we can't choose our parents. Black men are the most sexy men in America. They will be more sexy when they begin to take responsibility for themselves. My father didn't so unfortunately I will never be in the world with the word "daddy" rolling off my lips...I'm no daddy's little girl.

Soul Searching...

Lately I have been content in the family and friends category. I could not ask for better friends or yearn for anymore family members [Lord knows I have enough of those..lol]. Something is missing. I don't quite think its a man but it is something. I am really needing something that feeds my soul and is indescribable. My soul yearns to be fulfilled. It seems nothing is working that will normally help this emptiness. I can't find it in clothes, shoes, music, television, my friends, or even my family. This is a first normally I'm fulfilled by one of these many things. It is obvious to me as this goes on I'm not going to be able to be completely function until I am cured. [if that's the right word]. Maybe, I can't be fulfilled by these external things because I need to search internally to come up with my answer. I do not know whats missing from me to fill this empty space. I guess my next mission is to figure out what is missing from me so I can quench this thirst in my soul. Idk. Just something for me to think about while I'm home.

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feel like writing but not much to say lol. well i have a lot to say but my thoughts are overwhelming me. i think i wonder to much, but then i ask myself can i really ever wonder enough? Its good to have a big imagination, right? My biggest wonder is when the world will begin to know me. I know its going to happen but i am just curious as to when.

Normal. Weird. Black. White. Whatever.

Ok. I'm sitting here listenig to Cheyenne Kimball. Some of you may know who she is others may not, but I have been a closet fan for about three years. I know its like anyway who is she and what does she have to do with your post? Well I bring this up because she made me think of something. Every since I was about in the sixth grade my peers has considered me weird and a white girl. Ok first of all I'm black [well mostly]. Second why would I be considered a white girl??? Is it because I would rather listen to rock than rap, I would rather hang at the beach all day instead of going to a house party. I never understood why people called me a white girl. Ok so when I dance sometime I can't find the beat. Yeah I'm lighter than the average black person [probably lighter than some white people], but I could not name one white person I'm related to. I can name a hundred black people with whom I share blood. what makes a person white or black if it isn't family??? Ok so this normal and weird thing has been hitting me forever too. Ok i know I'm not the most common girl you would meet. I do, say, and wear some things that are unheard of occassionally. I have been called weird for all of my days. The things that most people find weird are normal to me so are they all weird? How can the whole world be weird and only I be normal??? Maybe the people that consume the planet are mere generic creatures while I am authentic. I'm just surrounded by those who are too afraid to step outside of the box and be creative. I said I need one original thing but it turns out I am the original thing.