Dream Love.

She dreams of the perfect love. The one who is absolutely compatible with her. He feeds her soul an she does the same to him. They get each other, its normally hard for people to understand him, and she could never be figured out, but them, oh they get each other. Its hard to explain and its not iterpreted well in words. All they know is that they could not have dreamed of a more beautiful love. She has not found him yet! Its no ones fault but her own. She stands in her own way constantly, she keeps repeating this vicious cycle and recycling the same two men. Neither one of them is the perfect love. Mr. Right is the one she always runs back to because he is her safety zone, she knows he will always be there and he'll say something to make her feel secure. She's not in love with him anymore and she kind of don't get anything out of talking to him. Nonetheless she can't stop talking to him. She doesn't know what it is but he pulls her in and it is something about him that intrigues her. then there is Mr. Man he could be the one for her he really could. But he is very juvenile and it seems like she is about fifteen steps ahead of him/ So, why does these guys keep her mind captivated? Because she falls in love with the things she can't understand, the more confused she is the more intrigued she is. She is captivated by the curiosity of it all. She tells herself she deserves better, but she knows she will always be captivated by these mysterious characters that will always impact her life in some way shape or form. Eventually, the perfect love will come along and he will intrigue her more than Mr. Right and Mr. Man combined he will be more mysterious and more exotic, he'll be everything she is and more.

first love.

We met at such a young age.I tried to resist, because i knew he was like a drug and he could cause instability in my life. But he captivated me pulling me closer with every piece. I grew to love him more and more by the season. Once he was in my life I knew he was there to stay. Although we do not always see eye to eye and when we are mad at each other and I see him with other girls I despise him. But the next season i know he will be back in my life making it better than it was the last season. And we are absolutely inseperable in the summertime, because he knows the right thing to do and unlike most first loves he is always true. Now that we are far apart he is becoming harder to reach and one point I thought maybe it wasn't for me. But it was winter and it is hard to see his full capability through the snow and rain and heavy coats. So we decided to chill until spring and just like I expected he was there with something new and more intricate than the last time. My first love and I have a complicated relationship, he doesn't always give in to my ideas but he allows me to be creative and never lets me lose myself. i will forever adore him because I chose to be with him. As we go through the years other men will come and go and I may fall in love again. But summer will roll around and when the sandals, dresses, and floral prints return, I will always remember the first day I finally understood you and I wanted you to be a part of me. i love you Fashion...we will always be.

Holding on!

The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn- David Russell.

Holding on to people that are causing you harm or weighing you down and can only bring negative things to your life is not helping you its hendering you. LET PEOPLE GO! Its hurt now but it is better for it to hurt now than hold you up later. If someone genuinely care for you, it will never get to the point where you have to make a decision.

But Mommie..I want it!!

You want it. I know you do. You don't care what it cost, or what it takes your gonna get it because you want it. You don't care who it hurts. Why douyou want it? You want it but she has it. We always want what we don't/can't have we don't care that it is unattainable and irrelevant at this point. Your skinny but you want big breast or big hips. Well thats not that bad it doesn't hurt anyone. You wish you could sing because she knows how to sing. You wish you were her color because she looks so pretty. Typical human being we always want something that is out of our reach. Its our nature. That's fine. What isn't fine is when you go to extremes to get something that you can't have right now. SHEwants HER man! Oooowwww!!! Yeah SHE knows HE's HERS but SHE don't care because SHE wants him, so SHE does whatever it takes to get him. SHE flirts with him, she calls him and act like she's just talking about HER. Eventually SHE gets him. But when SHE gets himHE turns out to be everything SHE doesn't want. So what does SHE do? SHE tries to give him back. But she can't because SHE and HER use to be best friends until SHE and HE. Now SHE is pregnant by HE and SHE needs HER because HER is the only person that ever truly loved SHE. Once SHE starts showing HE leaves but SHE doesn't have anyone SHE can depend on but HER. HER is tired of SHE's mess and decides that was the final straw. ...Is it really worth it? Can you live without saying, "But Mommie..I want it!!"

definition!

I always have this period of time when I am inspired to write. That doesn't really have anything to do with what I am writing about, but I felt the needed to say it... so I did. Anyway back to the matter at hand. Everything in this world is defined but something or someone. We are defined by our parents, our friends, where we are from, our features, etc. (well you get the point). If the world is not labeling us we tend to label ourselves by what we are doing, what we want to do, or our interest. What if there was no definition? What if people could just be? What if I could disregard the fact that I'm 19, I'm a girl, I'm in college, and I am planning to have a great future? Granted these things will still be the generalizations that make up who I am but what if people didn't expect certain things from me because of these definitions? For example, when people ask me questions, such as, what do you want to do after you graduate? and I respond with some type of career in the fashion industry. I may not really feel like I want to do that (because I really don't), I want to own my own businesses. but I say I want to be a stylist or a buyer because its a definite answer and it gives others security. We find satisfaction in knowing other people are secure in us. That is really the whole purpose of definition, its to give others security, while we are secretly insecure in everything that defines us. I know its a lot to take in and completely understand, but think about it. Are you really you because of the things you know about yourself or because of what others define you as? When others tell you your pretty/handsome, did you already know that or did them telling you make you believe it? How many of us are waiting on other to define us??

Is it he?

She's ready. Oh so ready to be swept off her feet. She's ready for the indescribable thing. It seems like everytime she's ready there is no he around. Idk what's going on with the male species but she knows its time to give it a try again. But is it he for she?

On the Surface!

What if you could look into a persons soul the moment you meet them? If you could look at her and know that she only looks pretty on the outside but all of the pain and hurt that she has been through makes her feel anything but pretty? What if you could look at him and know he has been abused all of his life by his father and he never met his mother? What if you could look Deeper, past the Gucci and the Louis? If you could look past the flashy clothes, pretty eyes, long hair, smooth skin, and beautiful smile? Would you change your opinion about them. When you realize she could be just as vulnerable as you and he is more sensitive than you think, how would your opinion change? How superficial are you really? how many of us judge people by the outward appearance alone. take a step back and look at yourself adnd think of how your life shaped the person you are now. Then maybe you will be more sympathetic toward others and slower to judge. The surface isn't nearly as Deep as the person.