pause!

Taking a break from my very important studies to let my creative genius shine thru. It has been over a month since my fingers have hit these keys. What can I say? I'm busy. As my sophomore year of college comes to a close and my 19th year on this earth starts to wind down. I think about my life, specifically my love life. it appears to be nonexistent for at least the last two years anyway. I see this as a good thing. Its a good thing because i took time to find myself and decide what I really want in a relationship. (a horrible relationship will make you sit back and think...believe me!!!) But seriously I have now come to the conclusion that I am so totally ready to date. Does this mean that I am going to throw myself on the first man I see? NO! It does mean I want to be with someone who is going to treat me with respect and acknowledge the fact that I'm a lady and not a bitch! I need someone who can show me a good time all the time not just when I am giving him what he wants. (get your mind out of the gutter...i'm talking about food! lol.) I want someone who matches my personality. I want to suggest things and not get shot down because thats not his style. I want him to enjoy my company also. never do I want a one sided relationship. I need to know that he likes being around me and he actually have a good time when we are together. I want a free spirit that matches my free spirit. I need somone that is spontaneous and can just be free and enjoy life (with me). I want him. Him rite there with the tattered jeans that looks like he really does not care. i need him to come take me away in his mustang and drive me to the coast. I need him to paint me a picture or write me a song. I'll definitely alter his clothes. I know it would be perfect I can let my hair down with him. I can put on an old tee and some of his jeans. and we'll lay around all day because he just likes being with me. yeah him over there he is the one I need. pause! could this really truly be? i found the one for me?!

Is it he?

She's ready. Oh so ready to be swept off her feet. She's ready for the indescribable thing. It seems like everytime she's ready there is no he around. Idk what's going on with the male species but she knows its time to give it a try again. But is it he for she?

Whats wrong with Dreaming?

I have heard that dreams were the luxury of children and dreaming is a waste of time. I'm no longer a child but I dream 24/7 I have to wake myself when I'm awake. [Not in a literal sense but I have to wake up from my daydreams to focus on the life I'm living at the moment]. I believe dreams can be a reflection of reality in the present and future. We dream about the future because we want it or want to change our present. We dream about the present because we live it. Dreams are like foreshadows to your future and reminders of your past. There is no greater fascination in the world than trying to make my dreams come true. I constantly dream about my life ten, twenty, thirty years from now. I always seem to be happy, but who would dream of themselves depressed? Maybe, our dreams is a way for us to ignore our present circumstances. Maybe, we do not want to face ourselves in this normative state because we will be displeased with the path we have chose. Whats the point of dreaming if we already have a perfect life and everything we want is there for us? I don't know all the answers but I do have a multitude of dreams that I can only use to shape my future. I do have one answer, in ten years when someone ask me how did I manage to make it I'm gonna smile and say: "I dreamed it."

Mr. Right?

It seems like everyone she meets that she has a little chemistry with she wants to make him Mr. Right. She wants him to wife her up, buy her a house and she wants to have his babies. Before he can formally introduce himself she has already picked out the colors for the wedding. She never stops to question whether Mr.Right wants the same. Seems a bit naive to me. So, as the story goes on she falls in love with this guy. In her mind he was That Guy. In his head she became That Girl. As time progressed That Guy began to cheat on that girl. Was this time or was it the case all along? She didn't know and she didn't care to know. She knew he was cheatig but she just hoped it would get better and forced herself to believe his lies because he had to be Mr. Right. She had this perfect vision of the way their lives would be once they finally settled down and got married. What she failed to mention to herself in this painted fairytale was that Mr. right cheated on Mrs. Right to be with her. Eventually his mannerisms rubbed off on her because she began to cheat on him with plenty of other guys that she imagined could be The One if Mr.Right failed to meet her expectations in her time frame. Years past and the cycle continued. In the end Mr. Right became Mr. Wrong which turned out to be a good thing. In love how many Mr. Wrong's does it take to find Mr. Right? In the case Mr. Right does come along is it an imagination or was it meant to be?